It's the one thing we all want as people - work: life balance. It's something we are striving for, yet never seem to get any closer to.
It leads to people settling for the fact that 'that's just the way life is' and putting up with, essentially, unhappiness because 'one day I'll retire'.
The unfortunate thing is 'one day' isn't guaranteed. For any of you who have lost a close one at any point through your life, you will have this reality check and maybe, because of that, you don't wait for one day.
It blows my mind that people still believe the best way to navigate life is to work tirelessly and have a far from perfect life for 50-70 years, so they can have 10 years post career when they have full enjoyment.
How does this make sense?
There are many errors to this plan and way of thinking.
That day never arrives
At 70 years old you are not as able bodied to do the things you dream of
50 years of working is a long, long time
You get to that point and realise it wasn't the best thing to do
I'm can't pinpoint exactly why I have the thinking I do, or why I hold the beliefs I do, but I think a big part of it is due to the fact that I am very aware people can die at any point.
I know, it's grim to think about, but I honestly feel like more people need to be reminded of this.
Most of us live life like an infinite game. It is not.
Time runs out for us all; we just don't know when.
I have seen people live long and loving lives and reach 70, retire and live another 20 years of their dreams, as they planned.
But I have seen many more fall to the promise of 'one day'.
I also know myself very well. Will I really want to retire? no.
I am a businessman, entrepreneur and, happily admit, a workaholic. That will not change, so I expect I will want to work forever. I hope I am able to.
So rather than live my life putting up with things I don't really want to, for the sake of one day it all being worth it, I live and make decisions for the now.
"If you can't do it for a year, don't do it for a day"
Work: life balance is very possible. You just don't believe it.
It isn't in our socialisation to really believe this, but it is.
The change in mindset will be a game changer for you.
Of course, you can go down the tunnel of hard work, no rest, work comes first, and it may be bringing about results, but trust me, you don't know it isn't working, until it isn't working.
By not working I am referring to breakups, missing out on your kids growing up, no social life, putting on weight and becoming worryingly unhealthy.
If this is you, I promise you can have balance.
It starts with believing you can.
To reset your beliefs, we need to breakdown old barriers to build new ones. We need to be very self-aware of what we do, why we do it and where this comes from.
A lot of the time we take what has happened as matter of fact. Sometimes, it isn't fact at all, just our beliefs dictating our actions which dictate our results.
If you want different results, you must change your beliefs.
I'll dive into more actionable tasks here next time but want to leave on this note.
Balance does not equal time split between things. This isn't possible.
It's about quality of time and the quality of emotions you get from each experience.
Think about that. Read it again. Think about that again.